A Cowboy's Christmas Carol
by MeganKoumori
Summary: Christmas is tomorrow and Woody isn't exactly in the spirit. Can a special guest star show him the meaning of the season?
1. Chapter 1

**Note:** I know I originally stated that I was going to post my alternate reality fic this week, but since it's Christmas, I've decided to delay it until closer to New Year's and post this story instead.

And I **know** using _A Christmas Carol_ as plot fodder is a cliché. Just go with me on it.

1:

* * *

Woody grunted as he stood on the tips of his boots. He was holding a fake branch in his hands. "I don't know I'm the only one who has to do this every year," he groused as he tried to attach it to the plastic tree stem. "And I don't even know why I even bother. It's not like anyone cares anyway."

Bo frowned as she handed him another branch. _"I_ care, thank you very much!"

"Sorry, it's just that…" he ducked as one of the branches came loose and almost hit him in the face. He pushed it back in. "Every year it's the same thing. Everybody wants a Christmas party, everybody volunteers, and then nobody helps until its time to put the ornaments on the tree. I end up doing all the work, and for what? Not so much as a 'Thanks, Woody' or a 'Gee Woody, sorry I ditched you and you had to cut out paper snowflakes all by yourself!'"

"Not feeling especially merry this Christmas, are you?"

"Not exactly," he answered. "Christmas is tomorrow and I haven't got half the things I need to do done."

Bo walked around the miniature tree to see if there were any bare spots in the back. "Maybe you should just cut back on the decorations this year, Honey. After all, Christmas is Christmas, whether or not you glue cotton balls together to make mini snowmen."

"It's not just the decorations. I've gotta get the baby monitor out of the closet for Christmas morning, choose what order the Christmas music tracks will play in at the party, _and_ I have to find _A Christmas Carol_! I still don't know where that darn book is!"

Bo reached up and began to massage his shoulders. "Will you relax? You're too tense!"

"I am not! And rub a little to the left if you please. There, that's perfect."

"You don't have to read _A Christmas Carol _to everyone. I'm sure they won't mind."

"But it's tradition!" A couple yards away, Mike's radio was tuned to a Christmas station and carols were playing:

"_There's a birthday party at the home of Farmer Gray  
It'll be the perfect ending of a perfect day  
We'll be singing the songs we love to sing without a single stop  
At the fireplace while we watch the chestnuts pop  
Pop! Pop! Pop!_

_There's a happy feeling nothing in the world can buy  
When they pass around the coffee and the pumpkin pie…"_

"_Will you turn that off?"_ Woody snapped to the toys who were listening. "I can't stand that song!"

"What's wrong with it?" Asked Rex.

"It's archaic and corny and it sounds like it was written in _'Leave it to Beaver-ville'_ under the administration of President Norman Rockwell!" Woody crabbed. "Nobody's Christmas was ever like that! I don't care what decade you lived in! And when was the last time anybody actually ate chestnuts?"

"Sheesh," Potato Head muttered as he got up and fiddled with the dial.

"Somebody sure knows how to suck the Holly Jolly out of Christmas," added Hamm.

"Better," said Woody as the music disappeared. In a moment, it was replaced by dogs barking to the tune of _Jingle Bells. _Woody groaned and put his face in his hands. Just then the branches of the tree fell to the floor. The Cowboy kicked one. "Well Merry Christmas to me."


	2. Chapter 2

2:

* * *

Buzz and Jessie sat in front of the TV watching a special. They were holding hands as they stared at the screen.

"_Merry Christmas Billy! Ho ho ho!"_

The little boy on the screen rubbed his eyes. _"Oh boy! Santa Claus!"_

"Wait a minute, I'm confused," said Buzz. "How does Casper know Billy's name? It's not like they've been introduced! He just came down the chimney!"

Behind them, Woody was struggling to carry the Christmas lights. They were in a messy jumble and the Cowboy kept tripping over the cord. "Hey guys, I could use some help!"

Buzz waved him off. "In a minute. Just wait until this short is over."

"But after that we've gotta watch Rudolph!" Jessie reminded him. "And then _The Year without a Santa Claus! _And then _Santa Claus is Comin' to Town!"_ She shouted in a German accent, _"BURGERMEISTER MEISTERBURGER!" _Buzz grinned.

"C'mon! It's going to take me forever to unknot these!" Woody protested. "Can't you untangle them in front of the television?"

"_Nah…"_ said Buzz and Jessie together, not taking their eyes off _Casper._

Woody growled. "Ok that does it!" He dropped the lights and stepped on the remote power button.

"_AHHH! A G-G-GHOST…" _The screen went black.

"Hey!" Buzz and Jessie cried. They turned around.

"What's wrong with you? Turn it back on!"

Jessie shook her fist. "How you'd like a flat lip with a bow on it for Christmas?"

Woody had his hands jammed on his hips. "Look you two, I've been working my butt off for weeks trying to plan this party for you guys! You and everyone else! The least you could do is cut out a few paper angels or untangle the lights!"

Jessie stood up and gave him a couple punches on the shoulder. "Look Mr. Grinch, maybe _you _want to spend your Christmas workin', but we're tryin' to enjoy the season!"

Buzz pulled her back as Woody rubbed his arm. "Jessie…"

Jessie glared and pointed. "You know what you need? Three spirits to remind you what Christmas is all about!"

Woody crossed his arms as he scoffed. "Oh and I suppose I'm going to fall into a deep sleep and have a dream where three of my friends visit me as the Ghosts of Past, Present, and Future and then I'll wake up redeemed and all full of Christmas Spirit?"

Buzz frowned. "You know, a little Christmas Spirit wouldn't kill you."

"Well in the words of Ebenezer Scrooge," said Woody, bending down and picking up the lights. "Bah! Humbug! Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to spend the next two hours undoing every little knot in this string. Thanks for nothing!"

Jessie stuck out her tongue and blew a raspberry as he stalked away. Buzz looked a little guilty. "You know, maybe we _should've_ helped."

"Yeah…" Jessie said quietly. They were silent for a moment before Jessie looked up. "Rudolph?"

"Ok."


	3. Chapter 3

3:

* * *

In the closet, Woody pulled out shoes and dirty socks from the pile in the back. "Baby monitor, baby monitor…" he muttered aloud. "Oh why can't this closet ever stay clean?" He moved aside an old Sorry board game. The cardboard box was ripped at the corners and as the Cowboy tossed it aside, it opened, spilling pieces, dice, and the board onto the floor.

Woody sighed and knelt down. He started to clean up the mess, but then stopped. "Oh what's the point?" He sighed and sat back on his bottom. "No one cares. The guys probably wouldn't even notice if I read _A Christmas Carol _this year."

_Nothing I do matters, _he thought glumly. _I haven't gotten to watch any specials or make presents, I've barely slept since the first…_

Sleep. That sounded good. Woody could already feel his eyelids getting heavy and drooping. He lay down on the cold, dark floor and stuck his hands under his cheek…

* * *

The next thing he knew, he was staring into a white childlike face. He blinked. "Casper the Friendly Ghost? What in the-"

"Hi there, Woody!" said Casper. He pulled Woody up by the arm. "I'm here to teach you about the Christmas Spirit!"

"Oh no!" Woody groaned, burying his face. "I've been sucked into a Christmas Special Cliché! Wait…" He looked up. "Why are you here? Where the traditional Ghosts? Past, Present, and Future?"

"They're busy!" said Casper, leading Woody out of the closet. "There are a lot of other grumpy people this time of year! I'm just a temp!"

"Well, all right…" Woody grumbled. "But if you expect me to go all white and stutter, then you're going to be disappointed." He stopped as they entered Andy's room. "Oh my gosh…"

Andy's room was barely lit. It was cold and dark like a back alley. In the corner there was a group of toys crowded around a fire that had been lit in a trash can. They were all wearing scarves and hats as they warmed themselves.

"Hey!" Woody shouted, rushing over. "Stop that! You guys know better than to light fires in the house! Put that out!"

They didn't respond. Casper floated over. "They can't see or hear you."

The Cowboy turned around. "What in the name of Charles Dickens did you do this room?" He demanded. "Change it back to the way it was!"

"Golly Woody," replied Casper. "I'm only showing you what your selfish attitude and unjoyful spirit has caused."

"My attitude did not turn Andy's room into an English 19th century slum!" Woody protested. "And I'm not selfish! I'm stressed out!"

"Come on!" Casper motioned for him to follow. "I've got even more to show ya!"

* * *

By the bed there was a single spotlight illuminating a desk. Buzz, dressed in a blue 19th century coat, was sitting at it, writing in a book with an ink pen.

"See? Here's your poor employee, Buzz Cratchit, slaving away on Christmas Eve, all to earn a few meager shillings for his family!"

"Buzz Cratchit?" Woody said scornfully. "Look, are all the names in this dream going to be bad puns?"

Casper shook his little white finger. "It's not very nice to interrupt!" He scolded.

"Buzz!" shouted a female voice, trying unsuccessfully ape a Cockney accent. Jessie, dressed in a cap, dress, and apron, joined him. She tugged on his arm. "Buzz Cratchit, stop workin' and come 'ave Christmas dinner with us!"

"But I have to finish my work or Sheriff Scrooge won't like it at all!"

She pulled him off the stool. "It's Christmas Eve! I's sure that ol' skinflint can do wit'out ya for a night!"

"But…"

"No buts!" She said firmly, dragging him to another part of the room. There was a table lit with candles and sitting around it, waiting for supper, were the three squeaky aliens.

"_Goooose…" _They said in unison.

"Ah, ah, ah!" Jessie scolded as she and Buzz took a seat. "We must wait for yer brother!"

"Here comes the lad now!" Said Buzz jovially. A giant crutch knocked Woody to the side. "Tiny Andy!"

Woody stood up and straightened his hat. "Tiny _Andy?"_

Andy took a spot as the table; he was massive in comparison to it. Buzz patted his knee. "There's a good boy!"

"Just our darlin' pride and joy!" Jessie added. Suddenly Andy began to hack and cough as if he had a hairball in his throat. Still, he smiled.

"Oh Mother I've been looking forward to Christmas dinner all year!"

There was a tray on the table and Jessie proudly pulled off the lid. Underneath was a cooked bird the size of a grape. "I's prepared ye all a meal fit for a king I 'ave!" Andy hacked some more.

Woody looked unimpressed. "I'm sorry, how exactly did I cause any of this?"

"It was your selfishness that cast a shadow of gloom among your fellow toys!" Buzz was trying to carry Andy on his shoulder but he couldn't bear the weight. The boy crashed on top of him, crushing the Ranger under his fanny.

Casper looked sorrowful. "I see a vacant spot in the corner, and a cowboy hat without an owner. If the child goes on like this I fear he will die." He put his face in his transparent hands and began to sob.

"Oh brother…"

The Friendly Ghost wiped his eyes and grabbed Woody's arm. "I got one more thing for you to see…"

* * *

In the very center of the room was a tombstone. "I suppose that's my grave." Woody intoned dryly. The name was covered in snow and as the Sheriff bent down, he wiped it away.

"'_Harry Bailey: __1911-1919…'"_

"Whoops!" Casper smiled sheepishly. "Wrong tombstone!" He pointed to one next to it. "That's yours!"

Woody stood up, wiping his hands on his knees. "This is ridiculous! I suppose next you'll have Prospector here and dressed up as the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come!"

He suddenly noticed a short squat figure in a hooded black cloak. There were boots sticking out from underneath the robe. "Will you get out of here!" Woody snapped. He crossed his arms as he watched the figure leave. "I gotta admit though the pick-ax as a scythe was pretty inspired," he muttered to Casper. The Ghost nodded in agreement.

"So, why are you doing this to me?" Woody asked. "Why are you picking on me?"

"I already told ya it's because of your own selfishness…"

"You keep calling me selfish!" Woody argued. "But _I'm_ the one doing all the work for this Christmas party! _I'm _the one who no one will help! If anyone's selfish it's my friends…"

"Aren't you listening to yourself?" Interrupted Casper. _"'I'm! I'm! I'm!'_ All you think about is you!"

"Oh whatever!" Woody said. "The point is, if I'm really so selfish, then why am I working so hard for everyone else?"

"Are you?"

Woody looked confused. "What?"

Casper got closer to his face. "Are you doing this for your friends?"

"Well yeah!" Woody answered. "They're the ones who wanted a party and they're the ones who won't lift a finger!"

Casper put his hands on his hips. "You oughta be ashamed of yourself!" He said. "Christmas is the time for friendship and good will!"

"I _know, _I _know!" _Woody rolled his eyes. "I've seen your Christmas short where you come down the chimney and pretend to be Santa!"

"Instead of thinking about all the things your friends won't do now, maybe you should start thinking of all the things they've already done for you! Trying to pull you and Buzz into the moving van last year…"

"They're the ones who threw me off!" The Cowboy protested.

Casper continued. "Rescuing you from a kidnapper, saving you from going to Japan, always looking up to you and…and going to you for help, and being there for you when you're down! Your friends love you and you should appreciate them instead of demanding they help you plan a party!"

Woody felt as though he'd been smacked in the face. He knew in his heart that Casper was right.

"You're right." Woody sighed and looked down. "I do have great friends…except for Potato Head and even he went out of his way to save me back in August."

"I wish I had friends like yours!" Lamented Casper. "In fact, I wish I had friends!"

Woody raised his brows. "Now that never made sense to me. You always have friends at the end of each episode but by the next one you're alone again."

"Narrative convenience," the Ghost replied.

"_Woody?" _Someone called._ "Woody!"_

Woody looked around. "Bo?"

"It's time for you to wake up," said Casper. "But there's one more thing before I go."

"What?"

Casper looked at him with hopeful eyes. "Will…will you be my friend?"

Woody shook his with a sigh. He smiled. "Sure Casper. I'll be your friend."

"Hooray!" He cheered, doing a flip in the air.

"_Woody, come on Honey! Wake up!"_

"Merry Christmas, Casper." Woody said as everything around him began to fade, Casper included.

"Merry Christmas, Sheriff Woody."


	4. Chapter 4

4:

* * *

Someone was gently shaking Woody's shoulder. A pretty white face began to focus into view. "Are you awake?" She asked gently.

The Cowboy sat up and rubbed his eyes. "I…I think so." He smiled sleepily. "Either that or you're the most beautiful dream I've ever had."

Bo blushed and smiled. "Flatterer." Behind her a group of toys, led by Buzz and Jessie, shuffled into the closet.

Buzz looked down. The others were avoiding eye contact too. They all looked almost ashamed. "Woody, we're all sorry we wouldn't help you with the party." Everyone nodded in agreement.

"We were being jerks…" Jessie started to say but Woody interrupted.

"No! No! Look, I was the jerk!" He said. With a sigh, he continued, "You guys are more than just my best friends. We're family."

"Even Potato Head?" Jessie asked. Mr. Potato Head gave her a dirty look.

"Even Potato Head," Woody answered. "I'm grateful for all of you, party or not."

Bo put her arms around his shoulders and gave him a squeeze. "We're grateful for you too."

"_Yeah…"_

Jessie let out a loud sniffle. "Ok, you guys are making me feel all soft and mushy!" She knocked Buzz on the shoulder. "Let's just give him his present before we all get soggy!"

"Present?" Woody repeated.

Bo took his hand and smiled. "We've got something to show you…"

The gang let Woody out of the closet first and followed close behind. He stopped. "Oh _wow!"_

The entire room was decorated. Christmas lights were strung across the bookshelves. Cotton stuffing was piled in various spots around the room and sprinkled with silver glitter to make it look like snow with cotton ball snowmen taped to top. The two windowsills had gold garland across them. Paper snowflakes and angels were taped to the desk drawers. In the corner Andy's CD was playing _"O Tannenbaum" _in German.

"_MERRY CHRISTMAS, SHERRIFF WOODY!" _Everyone suddenly screamed.

Woody put his hands to his ears. "Ow."

"Buzz picked out the music tracks," said Jessie. "Bo and me did the snow…"

"The Mrs., Rocky and I hung up the lights!" Said Potato Head.

"Slinky and I did the garland!"

"I put up the snowflakes and the angels!"

Woody looked around. "This place looks great!" Something in the corner caught his eye. "The tree?" As he walked over to look, the other toys followed. "You guys even finished the tree!"

"Not quite," said Buzz with a smile.

"It's covered in all the ornaments we made three years ago. What could be missing?"

Bo tapped him on the shoulder her crook. As he turned, she held up a plastic gold star. "We saved this for you."

Woody smiled as she handed it to him. Bullseye knelt down at the base of the tree and let Woody climb on top of his saddle, then stood up. As the Cowboy put the star on the tiptop, everybody started to clap.

He jumped down and stood back to look. "Thank you," he said, putting his arm around Bo's shoulders. "Thank you, everyone."

Jessie snapped her fingers. "Ooh, we almost forgot!" She dashed to the toy box where she had hidden something earlier. A moment later, she raced back carrying an old tattered brown book. "Lookit lookit lookit!" She held it up. "It's _A Christmas Carol! _It had fallen behind the desk but Buzz found it so now you can read to us…"

"_No!" _Woody cried. _"No _Christmas Carol!"Everyone looked at him in shock. "I mean," he said hastily. "This year, can't we just watch _A Charlie Brown Christmas _instead?"

Jessie tossed the book over her shoulder, sending pages flying as it hit the floor. "Yeah!" She grinned. "I'll take Charles Schultz over Charles Dickens any day!"

As the toys trooped to the TV, Bo pulled Woody back with her crook and pointed up. Woody craned his neck to look. "Mistletoe," he said with a smile. "Well, there's one tradition we can always keep." Bo giggled and stood on her toes to give him his Christmas kiss.

"Merry Christmas Sherriff." She whispered.

As Woody hugged her, he looked at the window behind her head. For a moment, he could've sworn he saw someone. Someone white and waving. But in a flash it was gone.

Woody smiled and squeezed Bo tighter. "Merry Christmas."

* * *

MERRY CHRISTMAS READERS!


End file.
